“I never truly felt like I belonged anywhere. I never truly felt like I could call anywhere home. I never truly felt like anyone could relate to what I was going through and what I was feeling. I felt as if everyone was happy and knew what they were doing with their lives and who they wanted to be but I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. It was as if the whole world was moving on… without me.”
This is a piece I wrote a few months ago about feeling like you are out of place. As people navigate through life, they slowly begin to figure out the things they like, the type of people they wish to associate themselves with and who they want to be. Like a fleeting feeling, others are experiencing growth and leaving you behind. Then I came to the realisation that different people tend to lead different paths in life. It is perfectly acceptable to be different, as well as have unique life experiences. However, feelings of inadequacy may still persist… Navigating through life as a young adult could sometimes be overwhelming as well as feeling as if you have nobody to rely on, or care for you as much as you see others being cared for.
When you see people growing up, you see them find new things and people which bring them joy, sometimes you feel yourself drifting apart from people or realizing, they weren’t really that close to you to begin with. It can be extremely hurtful feeling like you’ll never be anyone’s favorite person, feeling like you can call these people in times of need, but feeling a sort of void in your bonds. Sometimes it can be very heavy when you see others with best friends and wonder ‘why don’t I have that?’ or constantly feeling left out in your friendship group. However, the only way for you to feel genuinely satisfied is by avoiding comparing your human interactions to those of others. In other words, you will never find yourself content if you constantly search for answers in thing you see rather than the things right in front of you.
It’s an Elysian feeling of belonging in a place, sadly we often have to remind ourselves that place could be temporary. When you finally feel like you belong somewhere or to someone, it can be taken away from you in a matter of seconds, then what happens? In order to mitigate the effects loneliness has on you, you must realize that your feelings are valid and there are a lot of people who feel the same way; unimportant in a way or as if they don’t have a significant impact on others. Nobody in this world can provide you a buttress, but yourself. The world will move on without you, so will those people, the only person who can help you feel validated is yourself. You have to pull yourself out of that dark place and remind yourself that you are worthy of love, being valued, who knows, you most likely are already those things to our loved ones but you have tunnel vision because you are focused on what others have and not what is already in your possession. Some people are hysterical just because they see one post about how friendships should look like or be, take some time and realize; not everything can be applied to your situation.
I wouldn’t want there to be any misprision with regard to what I am saying. What I believe that when you are feeling undervalued or worthless, the most harmful action to take would be comparing yourself to another, comparing your bonds to those of others and comparing where you are in life to others. Moreover, you would like to cease feeling as if you are out of place in every aspect of your life, you must begin by finding validation in yourself. More simply put; out of sight, out of mind is the remedy for when you are feeling out of place.