“Follow my finsta it’s __”, the green circle on Instagram, the padlock on snapchat. People make private social media accounts to be able to express themselves in what they think is a “safe zone”. I use my finsta to tell people about my life and embarrassing moments. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? Things always appear fun when you start them, but then when you take a
step back to evaluate what they do to your behavior and that of people around you, your view changes.

I think one thing to remember is that not everyone has your best interests at heart, they call it a “close friends” story for a reason, only your most trusted friends should be there. A lot of people tend to put out their plans for the future on their private socials forgetting that some people will try to evil eye you because they truly don’t want to see you being more successful than them. You are literally sharing some of your most intimate moments with people who might not actually care that much about you and will easily use those things against you when the time is right. You are literally hurting your own feelings by sharing your and over-exaggerating you place in some people’s lives, these people will passively watch all the stories you post about feeling misplaced or depressed but RUSH to reply the or the ones where you give a hint of the drama going on in your love life. It’s really not worth the pain and annoyance, keep your circle tight.

Another problem with finstas is that they give you the illusion that you are actively asking for help, but in reality, the best way to get help is by asking your friends directly or talking to a professional. I can even go so far as saying it almost discourages you from reaching out for help when your posts don’t receive the interactions you would have hoped for. One of the positives I must admit is realizing that not everybody’s life is as perfect as it seems, everyone is going through something. The thing to remember is that by displaying your pain, you are actively feeding into a vicious cycle, which leads to repression. What you need to do is express your pain and actively seek help when you are ready to do so. Express, don’t display.

Let’s not forget that following other’s private social media accounts can make you feel left out, especially if you’re living in a different country from your friends or you have more of an introverted personality. Seeing others going out and having fun while you’re not, finding out your close friends may have met up without telling you, the list goes on and on. Social media has a tendency to cause a drift between us and the real world, we only see good things which makes us forget to count our own blessings as well. In order to keep up with
the “fun” others are having a lot of people attempt to show the world a different part of them which is more outgoing, but not authentic, you always be your raw self, the need to fit into society is what leads to the rapid erosion of your uniqueness.

You can call me a hypocrite. You can remind me of the fact I never open up and the only way I know how is with the use of subliminal messages in my writing. You can tell me I never take my own advice. Yes, I love private Instagrams / stories/ twitter accounts, etc. but the difference between me and the next person is that I realized the negative effects it had on me early enough. I am not telling you that there are only downsides to having private social media, I am trying to show you the side of them you might not realize, it took me almost five years… It is important to reshape your interactions in a healthy way, we are often told that young people spend too much time on social media, this isn’t the case, the problem is that we spend more time scrolling through our feed than using the advantages of social media
like being able to directly keep in touch with loved ones, networking and learning new things.