There are so many unresolved questions that lie in a person’s heart. So many decisions that have different outcomes. One of the questions that constantly lingering in my mind, is the difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

Being in love with someone is like a foreign tongue only both of you can understand.
Part of being in a relationship is creating memories, having inside jokes, having spots where you meet up, having silly arguments, etc. There are going to be things only you know about, things that are intimate to you and the other person, like a foreign tongue only both of you speak. That is why nobody can ever truly understand a bond between two people except the two people in the relationship. You will never understand your friend’s partner the way they do nor will you ever experience the same bond. I know love is not synonymous with possession, which is why when you’re in love it is much more consuming, you may care about their overall happiness however, you NEED to be in the picture. Sometimes being in love almost feels intoxicating but in a beautiful way, nothing beats having your own person, you feel inseparable. The difference between being in love and obsession is how healthy the relationship is. Being in love, is more black and white, while loving someone is grey, there are so many possibilities, so many types of love. You can’t sort of kind of be in love with someone, I believe that the second there is hesitation, you aren’t in love. You may forget the details of being in love, but the heart will never forget how it felt.

There is a reason why you tell your friends, family, and partner that you love them because love is not selfish. Part of loving someone is caring more about their overall happiness than their proximity to you or even their presence in your life. A mother can love her child and let them go off to university, a person can love their partner while still being able to let them go if they know the relationship is not working out and it’s okay with seeing them happy. Love can be more powerful than being in love, there is nothing more beautiful than choosing another person over yourself. That’s why your parents tell you they love you, they don’t tell you they’re in love with you. Love is not a possession. Love is letting a flower bloom in an environment favorable for its growth instead of picking it. Love is so elevating, I’m not saying there is no pain involved, there is, but most times, it is more freeing. To understand this emotion, you must pay attention to sensations, feelings you have experienced, when you are alert you have complete control over your emotions, love feels like a distant memory you’re unable to describe, comme du déjà vu. Love is patient, love is calm, love is having a safe space. People often say, love isn’t quantifiable, it can’t be measured by someone’s willingness to stay, but their ability to come back, that’s why they say when you love something; let it go, see if it comes back to you, to know if it is meant for you.

There are many interpretations for loving someone and being in love, these are mine. They may seem abstract because I want you to also be able to make your own interpretations, take whatever you need. What matters isn’t reading what I am saying, it’s about reading in between the lines, feeling the emotions when you are in love, you just know, it feels unusual, like reading a book in a foreign tongue, when you love someone it feels like something you’ve felt before. There is no definition because a definition would suggest a lack of change, what person wants a fixed feeling when they could create and mold their own?